Feelings...

This had happened to quite a number of times already, the feeling of crying when there something bad thing going to happen to me. Ok.. I know it's weird to crying before something actually happened, and it evenually happen after a few days of feeling emotional. So here how it's started...
On my best friend birthday two years ago not exactly on her birthday but somewhere during late July 2009. Few days before thinking of how to celebrate her birthday with her, I start to have feelings like sad, unhappy etc... but I was still excited planning the celebration. So on the day itself, I went home early first as I have already finish my school, as for my best friend she had her D&T, so we then decided to celebrate after her lesson. Walking home happily I started to invite some friends over too. I called one of my close friend as my best friend also knew her. So I got home and change into my home clothes and start heading to the bakery store, on my way there I called my best friend and told her I am inviting one of our close girl friend. Suddenly she starts getting upset and told me if this close friend is going, this celebration mind as well cancel... and then slowly we started quarreling and she said to me just forget about it and just cancel everything and then we hand up... that day was awful and I can never imagine that my best friend cancel on me!!

On my way back home I was feeling really down but I hid it from my family and just act as if nothing happen but I was so upset, I wanted to cry out lond and tell someone. I wanted to tell to my sister but my mouth just can't said a word. The feeling was so terrible I called my best friend, ex boyfriend and told him everything. And I started crying over the on the phone, I cried like a waterfall run down quickly.

And that's how I realise that if I ever had a feeling like that again it means I must be prepare before it happen... I want to avoid this feeling as much as possible but I guess this feeling will just kept on coming... I just wish that this feeling will vanish immediately but I am quite thankful with this emotion sometimes, I mean it somehow gave a preparation before something happen to me but when the event had happen I will not be as thankful as I think I would be... ahaha

Signing out bye!